Ready to face my crimes.

Getting ready to go to Hamlet and Laertes battle makes me very horrified. I don't know what will happen. I have everything planned out. But sometimes plans back fire. I have tried my best but lets see what happens only time can reveal the final result. And even if the battle doesn't work the way I plan it I will just offer Hamlet a drink. A very nice drink. Somethings are best kept inside of my head which is why I can not talk too much about my plans just to make sure no one gets to knows about them and try to stop them. But what matters is I have a plan and I have another plan just incase the first one does not work out. After this night I will be either ruined and dead or the happiest king in the world. Either way I will finally be able to get rid of these horrible dreams I keep having about my Hamlet knowing my secret. I will get to rest in peace. But that is only if I live because I know myself in the next life I won't be so fortunate which is why after tonight I will live my life to the fullest. Will I pay for my sins tonight or live the life of a king and then pay for my sins? is there no way for me to be happy in this life and the next? Only time will tell.

NO pain NO game

Since Hamlet killed Polonuis and in a way cause Ophelia's death this is a good chance for me to ruin Hamlet's reputation. I have already talked to Laertes and made him angery towards Hamlet. Laertes has also come up with a good plan and I will help him with his plan. Even thought I feel like I am using Laertes... I have to commit this one last sin and get rid of Hamlet. This way I will get to live my life with Gertude in peace and happiness and without Hamlet when I have a son he will be the next king. I will set a battle between Hamlet and Laertes whos sword will have a deadly poison and this way Hamlet will be sure to die even if he doesn't lose the battle he is sure to get a cut and that cut will kill him. So either way Hamlet will die after this battle and the good news is that I won't be his murderer. Even thought I feel partially reponsible it will be Laertes who will kill Hamlet. I will finally be out of my miesery and most important of all my life won't be in danger. I will be alive with nothing to worry about and a kingdom.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Ab42YbP5fs&feature=related

Everything is set and finally my life will be set.

I am so happy and so nervous at the same time. Hamlet is far more dangerous and mad than I thought he was. He killed polinius. He is a murderer. If he killed one person how do I know he won't kill another, how do I know he won't kill me. But the good news is I have someone on my side. Gertude also thinks his son is dangerous and she thinks he is mad. As for me I don't know anymore weather to say he is mad or just too clever. But what matters is Gertude knows Hamlet is a murderer and she is on my side so if anything happens Hamlet will be in trouble and I should take quick action towards my plans and send hamlet off to England as fast as possible and get rid of him now that Gertude too thinks he is mad I can convince everyone that Hamlet is crazy and when he goes to london.. well I have some plans made for him over there. Let's say once and for all I will be rid of Hamlet and all his grief.

I have thought my plan very carefully and I have discussed it with my freinds. It is best to keept Hamlet away. Atleat that is what I think. If he is not in sight there will be no pain and suffering for me and anyone around me since all Hamlet does is cause grieve. He can't get over his father's death and when I send him away to England he will be too far away to cause me any paing or try to reveal my secret. This is the best plan and I will get away with this like I did with my other plan. But that one still haunts me... does this mean that every secret and every plan will cause me to make another sacrifice and another plan?

My life is getting out of hand

I will live my life and enjoy what I have as long as I have the chance

I can't go back in time and neither can I remove the pain Hamlet has

So I will try to make everyone happy including myself and enjoy my dance

I will my do my best to be a good king whenever someone gives me a glance

Rosencrants and Guildenstern have no news for me. It appers to them that Hamlet is fine and according to Polonius Hamlet is lovesick. I can't believe these people don't notice how clever Hamlet is. Hamlet knows exactly what he is doing and now even I know he is not mad. He knows what I have done and he making me pay for it by making me suffer like this. I hate him. Damn him and his father. I deserve to be the kind and have to love of Gertude. But it wasn't right to ruin other's lives just so I could have things my way it was very selfish of me but I can't go back in time to change it and even thought I want to I can't turn back the time and besides even though I don't have a clean concious I am happy where I am and damn anybody who tries to take my kindom away from me.

Is being a king always so troubling?

It has been months... I tried to keep myself busy, I tried to forget it all, I even tried to make freinds with Hamlet; my son.




How could I call him my son when I have such a terrible secret about his father's death, how could he get along with someone who is triend to be his father and stealing his mother. I don't blame him, his situation is hard and I undrestand what he is going throught but what scares me is all his madness.

I hate myself. I hate everyone and everything. I even hate being a king. It is not easy, atleast not for me knowing that I don't deserve all of it, knowing that all of it belongs to my brother. My wife, my son, my kingdom and even my life, none of it is mine I do't own any of it. I try to live my life but I have such terrible visions and dreams... I am scared of living this life. I am scared of the truth being revealed and most of all I am scaret of Hamlet. He is clearly gone mad. I should really keep an eye on him. Something about him is not right and besides I still remember that conversation I over heard about his fathers ghost and a secret he was told. I will get my men to watch every act of Hamlet and now my good friend Polonuis is also on my side and with the help of his daughter Ophelia I will soon find out how much Hamlet knows about his fathers death.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FeIu_pf-_E

Was it a dream?

I have had a very unusual dream last night. Or was it real? I am not sure but I thought I over heard my nephew Hamlet talk about his father. Hamlet junior said he meet with his father and he knows about my secret but the whole scence confuses me. How could Hamlet have talked to his father. I mean his father is dead and if Hamlet did not talk to his father then how does he know that I have a secret? I am sure it was a dream that I had of over hearing the conversation between Hamlet and his Friends and night guards. In my dream Hamlet was talking about a meeting that he had with his father and my secret being revielled. But it was only a dream because Hamlet could not have possibly meet with his father. His father; my brother and our late king is dead. There is nothing to worry about. It was just a dream.